runaway train called a musical and other things

Rolling into 2024 with big things every month. A lot is going on. I feel like I've been under a rock and I just crawled out and am blinded by the light and was given a big notebook to start making lists. And I still can't see yet cause the light is so bright. But I'm writing anyway scratch claw bleh what?

How do I have time to watch Northern Exposure episodes before I go to bed? I don't know. That show is a little bit offensive in places that they wouldn't go near today (Maurice for instance). But I love Maggie. She's so calm and competent. I want to be calm and competent and not scared to be in a plane, let alone FLY A PLANE like she does! No I don't want to fly a plane. I just like her calmness.

I’ve been getting up early (like 5;30am!) to write and do a 20 minute workout before work. My workout consists of petting Mz Marbles and throwing rubber bands around the room for her to chase and then dancing around my room. I sometimes do lunges and a few pushups. I'm in a race against time these days. I like my new temp job though. As far as temp jobs go this one wins. The people are SO NICE and it doesn't hurt my brain like the last job. They give me free food at least twice a week with all the events and luncheons. And it's close to my apartment. But I’m eating a lot of meat and cheese sandwiches. And I have to be there at 8am. There’s always something.

SHOWS SO MANY SHOWS

I went to NYC in January.  It was a short week (shorter because there was a blizzard on the day I left) but it recharged me. Me and Susan and Julie D. and Angela and Leslie rehearsed current skate song dances. We did “Nancy's Dream”, Oksana's "Knock em out", Courtney Love's "Sides", "The Last Skate" (w/ Angela as Nancy K) and Scott Hamilton's "Sweet Torture".  And I taught them Verne Lundquist's "Feet First"!  Also while I was there I got to see a show with Soozee Hwang and The Relastics and Freschard. Susan is marvelous- so funny and soulful.  Clemence and Andre are long-time friends from Berlin. Love watching Clemence shred on guitar!

The Nan + the One Nite Stands show was at The Cat Booth @Turk's Inn in Brooklyn. Julie La Mendola set such a special night. Phoebe Kreutz opened with her hilarious songs and then Endless Arrows ( Julie LaMendola and Leslie Graves) hypnotized us with their gorgeous melodies. It was delicious gravy to play after them. Our set was fiery and joyful. I was hyped up on the energy of being around so many friends! I feel so proud of us. The NY crew worked hard to learn those dances and BROUGHT THE SHOWBIZ.  Their focus and enthusiasm for these songs and for the larger work i’m creating makes me feel really supported. When you find people on board with your vision and who you love being around as well? It’s energizing!

When I got back to KC, I did a workshop with Improv Springboard which has been my fave Improv experience of late. They put on workshops and shows for women and non-binary improvisers. I always learn a ton and feel like i'm in a safe space to improvise (I love that all instructors at Springboard check in on physical/emotional boundaries because hello, it saves frustration of people crossing your boundaries!) 
Some pics of the show. Melanie Tull and I were on a ferris wheel talking about depression and online dating. I still remember the profile pic we were discussing of a guy with a huge snake on his shoulders in the picture.
(Pics by Michael Stouffer)

End of January I played at The Ship with Breaka Dawn and Tracy for Mazzy Mann's Darkwater Inn series. It was a hoot! 
Mazzy puts on these fabulous variety shows once a month and it was an honor to do a few songs. Here is a pic from a Mazzy show from last summer- can’t find recent footage with Breaka Dawn + Tracy . So I’m including me and KC one nite stands (including Danielle Anderson as Verne Lundquist) doing Scott Hamilton song from Bird Comedy Theater last summer!

Then February. I was a surprise emcee at the Killith Fair at Record Bar, one-night only collaboration of women/femme musicians from the Kansas City and Lawrence areas. I also played a couple guitar songs + 1 old school classic called Lion with Tracy Flowers. I was surprised how fun emcee'ing was! It reminded me of improv and of the intros I do before my "skate songs" at rock venues. Preparing with things you want to say and then letting it all go once you get on the mic and just playing around and seeing what happens. This might strike terror in the hearts of other people, but when someone hands me a mic, and says "go for it".... it feels like, right, ok. Of course I am doing this because I have always done this because the stage is my home, thank you.

(pic by Rachel Sky)

And in March there was Scratch Night! This is a performance at Charlotte Street Foundation (put on by Borderlands KC) where artists are asked to present something new. Okay that nagging voice in my head—- I knew that it was finally time to try out a scene from the Musical!
I did 3 songs + a scene. The first song was “Nancy's Dream” Song, but I added 2 more dancers to it - the brilliant and inspiring Oscar Trujillo and Jeramy Zimmerman. The second piece was a scene  + a new(ish) song from Oksana Baiul called "Nancy's Life". I played Oksana, and Morgan Fender played her dead mother ghost, MG. And Danielle played Oksana's coach Galina and Nancy Kerrigan. They slayed it. I found the process acting with them super fun and I want a director to watch us do some scenes now. It’s hard to know how it’s playing when I’m in it! I can still do a little directing but it’s tricky.

Also got some feedback that made me question if I was being sensitive enough to my portrayal of Oksana….think one way to do this is to introduce the piece, especially if it’s out of context like it was that night. It’s supposed to be camp and absurd with pockets of emotional weight. That’s what i’ve been going for . But maybe the real-life names confused some people especially if they had a fixed idea of who these celeb skaters were.

I listened. I am learning. If nothing else to make sure i’m being sensitive while hitting the marks of the character I want to hit?
The 3rd piece I did was a duet song between Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan (The Last Skate). It's 3/4 structured and 1/4 improv. Was hilarious fun improvising with Danielle (I mean right? she’s so goddamn fun to improv with. She makes me laugh so much that I end up breaking character a lot - totally worth it).

All Pics by Vaughan W Harrison / Seen Productions

MORE MUSICAL

I've just scratched the surface. The tip of the iceberg. The foam on the cappucino. The next step is reworking the script. A writer talking about how they need to write is boring. i'm boring. But this is what I have to do until I get sick of myself talking about it. I need to wrestle the script like an alligator wrestles a chicken. What?
I will organize another reading. With more people. A lot more people. And I may have a heart attack after that, from the sheer vulnerability of it. I am CLOSE to these characters. I had to be to write songs for them and envision their voices.
I have a fear this whole thing is terrible. It actually might be, but there are some parts that consistently make me laugh so that's something. Keep moving keep failing.
Keep failing everybody! Maybe we can enjoy it?

CREATIVE ONE OFFS

The SAME WEEK of Scratch Night, 
I did a song for the 81st Golden Bird Awards Show!
This is a fake film awards show honoring fake films. It was ridiculous. I sang a song called The Joke is on You. My character was named Lucky Jones, from Jersey, who was the best friend of an athlete who was warned against medical advice not to run his "Last Lap". The film was called "Last Lap". The athlete was a DOG and Tay (the filmmaker) brought his dog to the awards show!
Here's a couple clips.

ON SPACE
I applied to the 2 year studio residency program at Charlotte Street. Fingers and toes crossed! Having access to a dance studio and music rehearsal studio and occasional theater space? Are you out of your mind? That would help so much! I'm doing a lot in my apartment and occasional music rehearsal studio but to be able to use a space a lot MORE that is not my apartment....where I can be unself-conscious about making sound? ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
Yes!

IMPROV
I'm part of a new house team at The Bird Comedy Theater that is coached by the incredible Trish Berrong. I'm sooooooo excited. Once a month shows and learning from Trish? Yes!

SINGLE
I'm going to release a single in a couple months. It's 2 songs I've had kicking around for a while. Hot/Not and Out in the Backyard.
Produced by you know who- the amazing Chase Horseman! Am trying to book a release show in May (or early june).

NANCATION
Brooklyn in August!
Did I hear you say 2 weeks? Yes I would like this. At least 2 shows with a new song w/ choreo for the crew but also a trip to the beach, please? Also more friend visits? Can I afford this? No. I never can. But I will try to lower some of my living costs.
I am cooking a lot of beans and rice lately. Also note to self and to you: Don't get coffee out of your house. it's too expensive.
(I got a tiny coffee and "protein ball" after lunch today and it was 7 dollars). NO. Also, I can make PROTEIN BALLS. Which are just peanut butter, right? 

REST
Remember to rest your brain.
Remember that time in the pandemic I ripped a hole in my shower curtain because I was following Andel Sudik’s (a literal queen of improv comedy and creative things) "celebrate your successes not your failures” exercises?
Then I did a whole photo shoot looking out of the window of my shower curtain. 

Start small.
Then do the next small thing.
I love you. Don't forget to love yourself too.